Truant

Truant: #9 of 12711     
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Tatami "Hamster" Spats



>>BJJHQ Press conference in a large packed stadium. major announcement time:
>>Everyone in attendance eagerly awaiting the news
>>The CEO of BJJHQ saunters onto stage and says, “we’ve heard your demands and we’re finally going to give you what you want...”
>>people are trembling in anticipation, some people urinate and defecate themselves involuntarily
>>”SAME DAY Delivery!”
>> the audience starts wailing, everyone is weeping uncontrollably in happiness
>>”don’t forget the free shipping!”
>>multiple people start foaming at the mouth, others vomiting ecstasy
>>”did I mention also combine multiple orders together so your wives don’t get mad at all the purchases?”
>>millions of people across the world simultaneously turn and pray towards the direction of bjjhq headquarters, it is now a holy site
>>”forgot to mention our next rolling deals will last an entire YEAR....STRAIGHT”
>>a majority of people in attendance lose consciousness and start convulsing from shock, total chaos, a few die instantaneously with smiles on their faces
>>”and we’ll include a 12 pack of arm bar soap for every purchase!”
>>the world starts shaking, a rift in time and space opens up, reality is in danger of ceasing to exist
>>”in fact everyone look under your seats right now!”
>>everyone still alive pulls out hamster spats from under their chairs, even people at home watching on live broadcast find hamster spats under their chairs, wtf
>>people standing look down and see themselves wearing hamster spats, how??
>>a bright white light encapsulates the entire world and everyone is transcended to a higher plane called Nirvana which is pure bliss
>>everyone is now enlightened and speaking only in Brazilian now
>>thank you BJJHQ and armbar soap & hamster spats, you’ve done it again  
10/18/2019 11:17:50 PM
0 Comments
Venum "Contender Evo" BJJ Gi - Blue



>>Year 2020
>>BJJHQ announces free armbar soap with each purchase
>>Customers everywhere rejoice
>>BJJHQ “but why stop there? Everyone gets 1,000 store credit to 93brand store”
>>men fall on their knees and weep
>>women become instantly pregnant
>rashguards are now socially acceptable clothing to wear to casual and forma events- actually encouraged
>>Gi and No Gi BJJ practioners finally make peace
>>All BJJ online guides are now instantly free and open to the public in every public library and online
>>BJJ is now recognized as an Olympic sport- the ONLY olympic sport
>>Aikido is outlawed and highly illegal
>>thank you so much BJJHQ for this gift to humanity starting with armbar soap
  
10/17/2019 11:35:32 PM
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Phalanx "Black Ops" Short Sleeve Rashguard



>>2020
>>BJJHQ implements new policy that it includes a random Armbar Soap with each shipped order
>>grown men cry out in happiness
>>wives allow their husbands to buy unlimited bjj gear free if judgement
>>peace in the middle east is obtained
>>crime reduces to 0%, employment goes to 100%
>>world peace is attained
>>Children are able to play in the street unattended without worry
>>work provides PTO and benefits for people to train BJJ
>>World Peace   
10/17/2019 4:24:50 PM
1 Comment
93brand "Hybrid" Hoodie



13 pictures and not 1 clear picture of the back of the hoodie  
10/14/2019 4:41:20 AM
1 Comment
93brand "Hybrid" Hoodie



What is everyone planning to put into that pocket tho  
10/14/2019 2:19:01 AM
0 Comments
Venum Challenger Pro Backpack - Green/Black



When I take your back, be careful or else i’ll inject my VENUM inside of you

Hiss🐍   
10/11/2019 1:29:27 AM
0 Comments
Kitsune "MK1" Shorts



Technically anytime im not wearing a gi... am i officially in no gi clothing?  
10/9/2019 2:35:05 AM
0 Comments
Venum "Contender Evo" BJJ Gi - Dark Grey



When I roll with you, I STRIKE like a VIPER. Then I get your back and INJECT my VENUM ! 🐍🐍🐍   
9/21/2019 3:29:54 PM
1 Comment
Fuji Ice Grappling Shorts



ever since they had that one Raven rashguard with the preacher, green smoke, guns, flames and snakes, no one holds back on these comments... that rashguard is nothing but trouble, it cursed us  
9/15/2019 1:04:18 AM
0 Comments
93brand "Goose OG" Jiu Jitsu Gi



This gi looks dope but 500 GSM seems like i would overheat within seconds.

It looks thick enough to be staff and bulletproof  
9/14/2019 12:41:27 AM
0 Comments
Venum Trainer Lite Sports Bag - Black/Neo Yellow



How many 12oz cans of WhiteClaw can this bag hold? Asking for a friend   
9/13/2019 12:10:24 AM
0 Comments
93brand "Body Butchers" Tee



BJJ shirt designs are always so IN YOUR FACE. I wanna rep some lowkey bjj apparel without people thinking im trying to be a toughguy or a serial killer  
9/10/2019 11:58:09 PM
0 Comments
Fuji "Submit Everyone" Short Sleeve Rashguard



What if they dont even do BJJ? What if they are just innocent people going about their day?

Fuji rashguard: i said everyone, i meant everyone  
9/7/2019 11:49:52 PM
0 Comments
Manto Pura Vida 2.0 BJJ Gi - Black



The birds remind me of PS1 logos  
9/2/2019 1:06:33 PM
0 Comments
Scramble "Kuro" Spats



As a strong independent male I dont just wear these to no gi (without shorts) i wear them out afterwards to go to bars. These spats will make you feel empowered, strong, sexy and cool  
8/31/2019 2:47:53 AM
0 Comments
Scramble "Kuro" Spats



JUICY  
8/31/2019 2:41:23 AM
0 Comments
Fuji" Submit Everyone" BJJ Gi



Fuji on the outside, VENUM on the inside

SUBMIT EVERYONE  
8/30/2019 2:30:06 AM
1 Comment
Raven "Wild West - The Lawman" Spats



Thats So Raven  
8/25/2019 3:46:13 AM
0 Comments
Vital "Throne" BJJ Gi - White



its nice to see a bjj gi represent its clearly CHINESE roots  
8/15/2019 8:15:59 PM
0 Comments
93brand "Goose Feather" Lightweight Blue Jiu Jitsu Gi



Testing  
8/12/2019 12:24:17 AM
0 Comments
Kitsune Corduroy Hat



Petition to BAN all Raven & Venum gear (except for the Venum mouthguards) from BJJHQ forever

Lets banish these two companies to the shadow realm  
8/11/2019 3:19:21 AM
0 Comments
Raven "The Gods of Egypt - Anubis" Shorts



I actually have these shorts.. they are pretty great when i’m eating, sleeping, and begging my elderly mother for allowance so i can add another display samurai sword to my sweet collection. These shorts also look cool when i make vape clouds adding to the mystery which is me  
8/10/2019 3:36:51 AM
0 Comments
Venum Elite 2.0 Jiu Jitsu Gi - Blue



Question: if it says elite. Does it mean my jiu jitsu will be elite if i wear this, pls advise
  
8/4/2019 1:31:28 PM
0 Comments
Fuji Lightweight BJJ Gi - White



did anyone buy those mats last week and did you receive them yet?  
7/29/2019 2:45:49 AM
0 Comments
Phalanx "Worlds RIZR Ultralight" Shorts - Black



These shorts are okay, but there is no design of a sci fi preacher with a rifle, with green smoke, and snakes and skeletons?  
7/27/2019 2:32:20 AM
0 Comments
Raven "Wild West - The Preacher" Rashguard



I actually bought one of these and it actually pairs well with my trenchcoat and fedora... i couldn’t keep the m’ladies away.

My anime sword collection and extensive aikido knowledge probably didn’t hurt either ;-)   
7/25/2019 2:59:41 AM
0 Comments
HoldFast Sailor Jerry 2.0 Gi



When you have be at the Jersey Shore by 2pm but you got BJJ at 12.

*For any Gi companies reading this feedback, customers dont like overly gaudy gi’s and we never will. Stop making this trash, thanks.*  
7/15/2019 6:59:16 AM
0 Comments
Hyperfly "Pressure" BJJ Gi



Hyperfly ruining their brand reputation in one BJJ HQ release lmao  
7/4/2019 3:40:39 PM
1 Comment
Gr1ps Primero Competition BJJ Gi - White



Im just curious, did they happen to sell any Hyperfly rashguards in the rolling deals?  
6/30/2019 1:05:51 AM
0 Comments
93brand Microfiber "Praia" Towel



Hi  
6/29/2019 6:37:58 AM
0 Comments
Comment on:
Hyperfly "Pressure" BJJ Gi

HyperFly is officially an EDGELORD brand like Venum
7/4/2019 4:27:24 PM
Comment on:
Fuji" Submit Everyone" BJJ Gi

Btw guys if you zoom into the crotch, theres a tiny black dot, its to pee out of
8/30/2019 2:32:02 AM
Comment on:
Hyperfly Hyperlyte SGT Jiu Jitsu Gi - Grey

Thats why you gotta marry another man so you guys could both order multiple bjjhq packages without judgement
9/7/2019 7:18:39 PM
Comment on:
Venum "Contender Evo" BJJ Gi - Dark Grey

tap early or you’ll be cleaning up VENUM for DAYS.
9/21/2019 3:31:03 PM
Comment on:
Phalanx "Soldier One USA" Short Sleeve Rashguard

If he dies he dies, american style
10/4/2019 5:56:24 PM
Comment on:
Triumph United Series 2 White Gi

Hyperlyte Black Ice Gi 99$
10/5/2019 9:34:56 AM
Comment on:
Dokebi "Steel Jungle" Rashguard

I just googled why John Danaher wears a rashguard everywhere and i guess its a very common question
10/12/2019 4:25:55 AM
Comment on:
Dokebi "Steel Jungle" Rashguard

Danaher: Arguably the question i am asked more than any other has nothing to do with jiu jitsu. “Why do you always wear a rashguard?” First let me dispel a commonly voiced, but incorrect theory. It has nothing to do with fighting or being ready for fights. In my current physical state, an aggressive five year old could easily defeat me with a simple kick to the knee or hip or even a simple push – a rash guard isn’t going to save me! My reasons are purely practical. First, they are very comfortable, Second, they are easily washed and dried. Third, they are extremely low maintenance/wrinkle free/easily packed for travel etc. Fourth, being a low friction material, they are well adapted for wear under a jacket. Fifth, They enable me to comfortably demonstrate a technique in impromptu social situations to students. Sixth, they are warm in cold weather, yet cooling in hot summers due to wicking effects, and; if caught in rainstorm, they will dry in minutes even while being worn. Seventh, some clothing companies sponsor and support my athletes. I am proud to represent any company that supports my people. Eight, they are free as clothing companies are happy to see me wear their products. Nine, there is considerable variation in rashguard design that can vary from informal daily wear to more formal wear for dates/occasions. When it comes to comfort and utility and low maintenance, I have never seen an attire that can beat track pants, sneakers, rash guard and fanny pack. If i find something more comfortable in the future i will switch to that. It may not be aesthetically pleasing, but I am already rather ugly and odd looking so I don’t even bother with clothing aesthetics as my looks are a lost cause – if I had to rely on looks and charm for anything in my life I would be a homeless beggar already ????. Now it’s time for a rash guard story that may change the minds of some of rash guard doubters out there…I am an admirer of the great MMA fighter Jose Aldo – any time he fights, I’m watching. The night he fought Uriah Faber, I wanted to see it. I don’t own a television, so I suggested to a bunch of my students that we go to a sports bar on the upper east side of Manhattan and watch it live. As always, I was running a little late and came in wearing my usual attire and began looking around for our table. Now my students and I actively seek out every opportunity to prank/ridicule/make fun of each other, my general weirdness gives them lots of raw material to work with! The entire group of them had dressed in rash guards and Fanny packs! As I sat down there was a noticeable look from pretty much the entire bar as they all simultaneously asked the question, “who the f**k are these dorks and why are they dressed in those gimp outfits?” We all started laughing and started to watch the show. Out of nowhere groups of women started up to our table and started asking who we were and why were we dressed like that? Were we a sports team? Cyclists? Triathletes? Lunatics? Morons? Suddenly our table was neck deep in curious babes and hotties and the Jose Aldo fight was forgotten ????Every single one of my students got multiple phone numbers and action out of that escapade! (I was the only failure ????????) The dudes at the bar were furious and could not understand how a bunch of dorks in wet suits who looked like they had beamed down from the deck of the starship Enterprise had gotten all the female attention ???? So, who knows…maybe you doubters ought to give it a try…my rash guard system worked as well for my students as my leg lock system…perhaps it can work for you too! ????
10/12/2019 4:29:06 AM
Comment on:
93brand "Hybrid" Hoodie

Edit: i bought this dope hoodie, it better not say crazy stuff on the back like BODY BUTCHERS Guild of limb dismemberment carotid artery, etc
10/14/2019 4:45:02 AM
Comment on:
Phalanx "Black Ops" Short Sleeve Rashguard

Thx BJJ
10/17/2019 4:25:16 PM
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