dylan.trotter95's profile at MMA HQ

Tatami ANIP Hoodie

this guy tried fighting me at a concert I went to tonight... if only I had this hoodie he would've known I'm a shitty blue belt with zero takedowns that pulls guard, surely then he probably would've thought twice

4/25/2024 9:30:18 AM

Flag

0 Comments

Tatami "Need More Hugs"/ "Born to Fight" 2pack tee

alas, merely seconds later, my order has shipped.

coincidence? I think not.

4/20/2024 12:56:25 AM

Flag

0 Comments

Tatami "Need More Hugs"/ "Born to Fight" 2pack tee

the great soap revolution of April 2024 has started.

state your opinions, peasants.

4/20/2024 12:55:18 AM

Flag

0 Comments

Tatami "Need More Hugs"/ "Born to Fight" 2pack tee

we need less of these trash shirts and more soap.

4/20/2024 12:00:44 AM

Flag

0 Comments

Progress The Academy Gi - White

soap.

4/17/2024 11:31:40 PM

Flag

0 Comments

Tatami "No Pain" Hoodie - Black

why is all jiujitsu/MMA gear always so lame/gay. I'd sooner buy one of those homo affliction/Tapout shirts or just a straight up shirt that literally says "I LIKE ROLLING AROUND WITH SWEATY MEN" rather than 90% of the merch these companies release.

this post is actually just my aggressive way of coming out the closet. I really do love rolling around with sweaty men

4/14/2024 11:17:31 PM

Flag

0 Comments

"Heel Hookin" / "Better Pull Guard" T-Shirt 2pack by BJJHQ

for real? my soap order from 1.5 months ago is STILL processing??? what the actual fucking shit

4/14/2024 1:40:44 PM

Flag

0 Comments

Fuji All Around BJJ Gi - Blue

S top
O ver
A dministrating
P osts

it's called freedom of speech 🇺🇸🫡✊🏿🖕🏿🤙🏿

4/12/2024 1:58:27 PM

Flag

0 Comments

Inverted Gear Academy Shorts

will this next rolling deals soap take 2 months to ship orrrrrr whatttttttt???

4/11/2024 3:10:29 PM

Flag

0 Comments

Future Kimonos "Good Times Bad Times" Rash Guard

Shooting
Obvious
Admins
Publicly

4/10/2024 3:45:16 AM

Flag

0 Comments

Kitsune Kimonos "Spectre" Lightweight BJJ Gi - 2024 Edition

I offer 2 options
soap, or war.

4/9/2024 7:00:48 AM

Flag

0 Comments

Tatami Combat Club Hoodie - Black

mY nAmE iS bJjHq aDmIn and iM a gIgAnTiC wEt SoPpY FiLtHy pUsSy

4/8/2024 1:53:04 PM

Flag

0 Comments

Phalanx "Flow Field" Spats

serious question... why does the soap take so long to ship? I ordered mine well over a month ago now and still haven't received anything. I'm about to refund my order

4/7/2024 1:44:42 PM

Flag

1 Comment

93brand XL Pearl Weave Duffel Bag - Navy/Black

selling top secret classified government information regarding the current French/Russian northern Africa proxy wars. (serious replies only, if this comment is deleted bjjhq admins are clearly communist) (and if they leave it up they clearly support Ukrainian genocide, checkmate motherfuckers.)

3/29/2024 9:28:11 AM

Flag

0 Comments

Finishers "Reaper" Rashguard

I haven't showered in 2 weeks, where the fuck is my armbar soap my teammates are starting to get pissed and this hole in my leg is getting bigger

3/28/2024 3:52:42 AM

Flag

0 Comments

Tatami Success Zip Hoodie - Black

where's my fuckin soap

3/27/2024 3:32:54 AM

Flag

0 Comments

93brand "Construct" Convertible Gear Bag (Duffel/Backpack Hybrid) - Black

these bags suck more than the bjjhq admins. and they held the 2012-2023 record for sucking the most.

3/21/2024 3:19:27 AM

Flag

0 Comments

Scramble Base-K BJJ Gi - Ninja Black

My dad was a frogman in Vietnam and said they'd take det cord (like what they use to light fuses and set explosives off) and tie up captured Vietnamese soldiers to trees, tying the det cord around their neck, only to light it and "pop" their head off and leave the headless body on the tree for them to see.

I love my dad, and I hope you enjoyed this history lesson.

3/18/2024 4:15:57 AM

Flag

0 Comments

Phalanx Frequency Long Sleeve Rash Guard

I'm a terrorist.

3/17/2024 1:39:19 AM

Flag

1 Comment

93brand "Butterfly" Gear Bag

bought this last summer. it's overall an alright bag. doesn't quite fit all my MMA gear AND a gi towel, but usually I'm doing one or the other anyways. the handle at the top seems weak and already broke just from me grabbing it on the car and it being slightly stuck, causing the handle to rip off.

I'd give the bag overall like 7 out of 10.

3/16/2024 6:35:32 PM

Flag

0 Comments

Scramble "BAKA" Shorts Black/Seafoam Green

do yall think those 3 letter agencies monitor this forum? asking for a friend (he's DEFINITELY not a terrorist) 😉

3/4/2024 3:20:33 PM

Flag

0 Comments

Phalanx "Strength and Honor" HPTX Shorts

I'm not the only one who read that "Strength and honor" in the Warcraft III orc voice am I?

2/28/2024 12:11:00 AM

Flag

1 Comment

Wristlock Co. "Victory" Short Sleeve Rash Guard

Looking for future jiujitsu wife. accepting applications on clash of clans.

2/25/2024 1:08:34 AM

Flag

0 Comments

Toro Large Mesh Gym Bag

in all seriousness, is this bag worth it? would it fit a gi mma gear (shinpads, big/small gloves)

2/9/2024 1:13:14 PM

Flag

0 Comments

Meerkatsu "Laser Beam Flying Jitsunicorn" Shorts

I stand against Xi JinPing and the Chinese Communist Party and I elect StephenSevenStripeWhiteBelt as my VP and we came to sling American flag jiujitsu apparel and crush communists.

and we're all outta jiujitsu apparel...

2/2/2024 11:32:31 PM

Flag

0 Comments

Phalanx "Enso" Long Sleeve Rashguard

if you like Asian tramp stamps, this is the rashguard for you!

1/19/2024 11:28:15 PM

Flag

2 Comments

Tatami Takedown Tiger Shorts HQ exclusive cut

quite frankly as an expert in tiger design clothing here in the pacific northwest, there just simply isn't enough tigers on this for me to justify adding it to my enormously extensive tiger wardrobe. I just already have too many much cooler tiger design clothing than this. they should honestly be ashamed of themselves, whoever is in charge of their tiger design clothing department needs to immediately apologize and submit their resignation and pray to H�lio Gracie for forgiveness.

1/5/2024 11:22:32 PM

Flag

0 Comments

29Niku "Let's Roll Light III" Spats

somebody tried oil checking me today but I told them not only does my husband have a bigger thumb, but I was also in the United States Navy.

then I tapped him.

11/30/2023 11:02:58 PM

Flag

0 Comments

93brand "Dark Tiger" Shorts

bought these during the most recent rolling deals, just got them the other day and I gotta say they seem high quality. all 93 brand things I've bought have lasted me multiple years of training 5 days a week. one of my favorite brands for sure

10/22/2023 2:17:22 AM

Flag

0 Comments

Phalanx "Enso" Long Sleeve Rashguard

if you're into Japanese tramp stamps, this is the rashguard for you!

10/21/2023 12:57:16 AM

Flag

0 Comments

Comment on:

Tatami Takedown Tiger Shorts HQ exclusive cut

go Kimura people on the street, I believe in you bro you got this. go get those subs and dubs

1/6/2024 12:33:33 AM

Comment on:

Phalanx "Enso" Long Sleeve Rashguard

wow, I'm a genius. great comment Dylan.
thanks Dylan.
you're welcome Dylan.
dylan, why are we simultaneously talking to ourselves but Also from the third person?
Dylan may never know...
Dylan is bored at work, hoping to reach fame and success by good comments on websites and YouTubes but Dylan knows this is a niche market, with only the most refined senses of humor appreciating such craft and artsmanship.

oh jeez I shouldn't have pulled the dab pen so many times before work, what have I done?

1/19/2024 11:32:16 PM

Comment on:

Phalanx "Enso" Long Sleeve Rashguard

evidently I've upset the Asian tramp stamp community and I'm about to get cancelled

1/20/2024 12:40:24 AM

Comment on:

Wristlock Co. "Victory" Short Sleeve Rash Guard

Ask that Sean O'Malley or Ian Gary fellow

2/25/2024 7:41:39 PM

Comment on:

Phalanx "Strength and Honor" HPTX Shorts

whoever disliked this plays alliance and loses every battleground and probably pulls guard.

2/28/2024 6:51:13 AM

Comment on:

Phalanx Frequency Long Sleeve Rash Guard

Allahu akbar.

3/17/2024 11:26:05 AM

Comment on:

Kureiji "Jitslife" Short Sleeve Rash Guard

yeah those Chinese fucks are censoring my comments too. these adminis are soy boy pussies who probably only pull guard

3/19/2024 6:05:40 PM

Comment on:

Kureiji "Jitslife" Short Sleeve Rash Guard

Xi jinping has entered the chat.

3/19/2024 6:06:49 PM

Comment on:

Phalanx "Flow Field" Spats

capt o you're gay

4/7/2024 9:27:59 PM

Comment on:

Tatami Combat Club Hoodie - Black

using introspectiveness, if you take a second and reflect inward you'll see that you're a actually a loser

4/8/2024 1:54:42 PM

Comment on:

Future Kimonos "Good Times Bad Times" Rash Guard

people who are disliking our comments got tapped out by the ringworm

4/10/2024 3:42:44 AM

Comment on:

Future Kimonos "Good Times Bad Times" Rash Guard

capt o DEFINITELY has a staph infection on her crotch

4/10/2024 10:11:38 AM

Comment on:

Future Kimonos "Good Times Bad Times" Rash Guard

exactly.

it's been almost 1.5 months when they said it would ship March 14-18th, and we all placed our orders March 1st

4/10/2024 2:22:57 PM