Torrespr's profile at MMA HQ

93brand Vintage 2.0 Hoodie

Why do these brands pit a walking billboard design on the front superman style, this hoodie would be badass if they put the design on the back and a small logo on my left nipple to point me in the right direction for pinching and national antheming

11/28/2023 12:15:28 AM

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Armbar Soap Company - Random 5-PACK

Perfect timing, all my soap had run out, but not the shampoo bar, that thing is infinite, it’s still at 1/3 left after 4 bars of soap used up

11/27/2023 9:08:25 AM

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Tatami Recharge Pink Leopard Print Shorts (shorter inseam)

Like how these shorts let your opponent know that you’re clearly a bottom

11/8/2023 7:01:33 AM

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Inverted Gear Bamboo Panda

Brand: Inverted Gear
Color: Easter Bunny Puke

11/4/2023 8:02:38 AM

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Meerkatsu "Laser Beam Flying Jitsunicorn" Shorts

This design is so gender inclusive that they’ve excluded any female models

11/2/2023 10:16:35 AM

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Nation Athletic "Therapeutic Violence" Tee

I’ve never tapped someone out while standing but if it’s on this shirt it must be true

10/18/2023 2:53:52 PM

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Kitsune "Twin Dragon" Bag

This guy carrying a training mat along with his gi?

10/7/2023 7:25:09 AM

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Jitsy Club Arctic Digital Camo Shorts

They should rebrand to just “Jitz” like dunkin doughnuts did to dunkin

10/5/2023 8:10:09 AM

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93brand HOOKS V5 Jiu Jitsu Gi - Classic Blue

I never say no to an offer of 69

9/27/2023 11:24:50 PM

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BJJ Tees Random T-Shirt 2PACK

I was going to post a funny comment, but today’s offer is already a joke

9/22/2023 7:21:39 AM

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Tatami Takedown Crew Bomber Jacket

Trucker on the outside samurai on the inside

9/21/2023 8:52:33 AM

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Kitsune "Red Skies" BJJ Gi - Black

I just want to buy the backpack

9/17/2023 11:57:32 PM

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Tatami "Vortex" T-Shirt - Black

It’s like they’re not even trying anymore with graphic design

9/10/2023 11:14:15 AM

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Kitsune Bloom BJJ Gi - White

Just bought the A6, am I morbidly obese? No it’s worse than that, its for my doll i keep in my closet.

9/9/2023 9:41:20 AM

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"SPORTS" T-Shirts 2-PACK by BJJHQ

Only excuse for this is that his toddlers made it and he's trying to encourage them for a life of mediocrity and talentlessness

9/1/2023 9:24:20 AM

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29Niku "Less Thinking / More Action" Rash Guard

Think less = tap more

8/30/2023 12:23:44 PM

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Tatami "No Pain" Tee - Black

There should be a community shirt design contest it’ll be between buru nyuu guy, dongs guy, and soap guy

8/22/2023 10:08:02 AM

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Tatami Recharge Pink Leopard Print Shorts (shorter inseam)

Perfect for if Fred Flinstone came out

8/17/2023 12:49:27 AM

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Aesthetic "Alpha" BJJ Gi - Blemished

Not going to buy a dirty tranished gi, I want a clean white gi so I can roll around the floor and get it dirty and tarnished

8/14/2023 9:13:53 AM

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Ground Game Yokai 3.0 Spats

That sword is a little too close to the family jewels for my comfort

6/21/2023 12:00:17 AM

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Armbar Soap Company - Random 5-PACK

My free will crumbled and my credit card lept at the sight of bjj soap because of all the soap adoration in previous comments, so thanks to all you commenters if this is actually good, and if it’s garbage I hope all you soap lovers drop yours and get a rear-naked

5/28/2023 9:17:38 AM

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Phalanx "Speed" Rash Guard

If Nascar made bjj gear

5/27/2023 2:38:01 PM

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Tatami MTP Shorts Camo (Shorter Inseam)

You cant see my wanker

5/16/2023 11:07:54 AM

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Kitsune "Twin Dragon" Bag

Great for my katanas

5/15/2023 8:39:11 AM

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Tatami Model X - White

Trust no one

5/14/2023 9:19:39 AM

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Scramble Nostromo Long Sleeve Rashguard

If minority report did bjj

5/13/2023 8:01:05 AM

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Half Sumo X HQ Year of the Tiger Spats

The tiger stripe culture appropriation continues, hope he gets mauled by a bengal

5/11/2023 9:09:48 AM

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Scramble Combination Shorts - Black/Purple

If ninja turtles did bjj

5/7/2023 9:32:34 AM

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Phalanx "Ares Olive" Short Sleeve Rash

If anti-virus software made bjj gear

5/6/2023 8:36:34 AM

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Half Sumo X HQ Year of the Tiger LS Rashguard

Tiger is pissed about stripe culture appropriation

5/2/2023 8:44:23 AM

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"Pyjama Fight Club" Hoodie by Aesthetic

Now I can look like a tech startup founder that doesn’t know how to spell

4/30/2023 9:18:31 AM

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2-PACK Of BJJTees "Just Roll / Street Jiujitsu" T-Shirts

Where have I seen this before? Ah that’s right

4/28/2023 12:24:40 AM

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Phalanx "King Olive" RIZR Shorts

Designed specifically for JuiJitsu but somehow also for 4 other unrelated sports

4/26/2023 11:05:52 PM

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Meerkatsu "Manual" Rashguard

Where’s the IKEA logo?

4/25/2023 8:18:00 AM

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Phalanx "Rush" Long Sleeve Rashguard

If Daft Punk rolled

4/18/2023 8:46:08 AM

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Scramble Snake and Dove Tee - Black

Am I both the snake and the bird in this, and if so, am I choking my chicken?

4/15/2023 8:10:50 AM

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Kitsune "Bloom" Compression-Lined Shorts - Navy

You’re overlooking the time and effort for curation and all the user banter, in fact you sound like a bot for amazon, get outta her bot and your chatgpt gorlfriend too!

4/24/2023 8:10:34 AM

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Tatami Model X - White

All lies lead to truth

5/14/2023 9:22:30 AM

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Tatami Model X - White

The truth is out there

5/14/2023 9:23:28 AM

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Phalanx "Rush" Long Sleeve Rashguard

More songs (cause Im an unoriginal swiper that found it funny)

1. Black belt black schmelt
2. White belts have feelings too
3. Double-tappity tap
4. When am I gettin a stripe
5. Tape those fingers
6. Shrimp it, shrimp it good
7. They see me Rollin’
8. Choke em with my gi
9. Roll reversal
10. Turtle power

7/8/2023 8:59:29 AM

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Fuji "Dark Arts" Gi - White (HQ exclusive color)

Who can argue with a half nipple upskirt

7/18/2023 5:43:33 PM

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93brand "Construct" Convertible Gear Bag (Duffel/Backpack Hybrid) - Black

The armbar soap is good most foamy soap ive ever used and smells like bathing in the woods, my only issue is that it drys your skin which is fine except for armpits which chaffe. I supplement with a dove for that part.

8/16/2023 8:45:55 AM

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Kitsune "Red Skies" BJJ Gi - Black

It’s a ballsack dressed as a Wendy’s employee

9/17/2023 11:58:41 PM

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Phalanx "Sharp" Long Sleeve Rash Guard

Better than a Zenith

10/5/2023 11:33:26 PM

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Kitsune "Twin Dragon" Bag

What a tryhard, bet if Joe Rogan told ya to roll around the floor in pajamas with a dude that’s trying to cut off your oxygen supply you sound like you’d do that too

10/7/2023 7:29:24 AM

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Meerkatsu Bow & Arrow Choke T-Shirt

You must’ve missed the surprise riddler shirts

10/9/2023 9:23:06 AM

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Tatami Tanjun BJJ Gi - Black

Post photos if he pulls a publishing clearing house big check moment

10/10/2023 10:57:45 AM

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93brand Bad Grapplers Short Sleeve Rash Guard

Haha but seriously I’m a proud soap buyer and i’m down to my last bar (not the shampoo bar that thing never ends it’s only halfway when i’ve run through 3 bars of soap)

Bring back the soap!

10/17/2023 3:45:41 PM

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Aesthetic "Legacy" Short Sleeve Rash Guard

They should just crowd-source ideas from the comment section, it’d be a rashie with a dong on the front, buru nyuu everywhere it’s unwanted, bjj soap under the armpits, the logo just eye-gouging huge, a Canadian guy complaining about shipping on the bottom, and the must-have waistband, with not enough inventory for the large ppl so they have something to moan about

10/24/2023 11:02:58 AM

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Inverted Gear Starter BJJ Gi 2023 - White

The lack of comments with people saying they hate it

10/26/2023 11:12:47 PM

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Aesthetic The Alpha Kimono - Black/Gunmetal

Sounds like a case of blue gi balls

10/30/2023 9:20:48 AM

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Wristlock Co. "Victory" Short Sleeve Rash Guard

So would @Dlay comment be considered Roid Rage?

11/7/2023 11:14:46 AM

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Tatami Azure Dragon Rashguard

Like how everyone writes super witty remarks for 10 likes and this guy is getting 26 likes from 1 word, he’s like the vagabond panhandling on the street for change that makes more $ than the guy getting minimum wage at McDonalds

11/14/2023 10:10:17 AM

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93brand Vintage 2.0 Hoodie

Sounds like car juijitsu is up your alley, no joke it’s a thing, google is your friend

11/28/2023 12:16:12 AM

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